Follow Carol's Blog|
To receive new blog posts in your inbox, enter your email address here:
Yours, Mine, and Ours - Some Advice for Combining Households
Sun May 05 2013 |
Spring is the start of wedding season, and as a result it’s also the time when I start to get the questions about combining bedroom furniture and household possessions. My client Lena wrote with the good news that she was engaged to Daniel, the man of her dreams, but that moving in with him has raised lots of questions about the Feng Shui of combining their bedroom furniture. Should she keep her dresser, or use Daniel’s furniture? How many of his “knick-knacks” did she want to keep in the bedroom and how many of hers? What about keeping family pictures in the bedroom?
I’ll analyze Lena’s situation question by question as an example of how to decide what to keep.
First, Lena wanted to know if she should move her dresser into Daniel’s bedroom or use his furniture. While both of their dressers were dark wood, they were different styles. Plus, adding her dresser would make a total of six pieces of furniture in the room. I advised Lena that the first Feng Shui decision was to make sure both she and Daniel liked all of the furniture. If any piece didn’t seem to fit in with the others, or if one of them truly disliked it, it was a better Feng Shui choice to replace it. I reminded her that sometimes when blending households you have to live with the pieces from both people for a while until it becomes obvious which pieces work and which don’t fit together.
Second, Lena asked about the photo of Daniel’s grandfather that he kept on his dresser, since she was concerned it wasn’t good Feng Shui to have photos of a decreased relative in their bedroom. I explained that the only photos in a master bedroom should be of the couple -- no children, parents, grandparents, friends, or pets, especially if they are deceased. And I also recommended that she use this as an opportunity to take an engagement photo that they could instead display in their bedroom. I also reminded Lena that in Feng Shui, pictures of relatives should be displayed in the Family Area or Helpful People Area of their home, and that by moving the grandfather’s picture to a more public area of their home they were actually honoring his memory.
Next, Lena told me that Daniel kept a light blue teddy bear on his bed, which he long ago received as a birthday present from his now-grown daughter. I recommended that it was time for the teddy bear to go, especially since Daniel’s relationship with his daughter was now strained. Instead, I suggested finding a current photo of the daughter and hanging it in the family room near a picture of Lena and Daniel to symbolize a healthier relationship among the three of them.
Finally, Lena told me about the two black ceramic cats that Daniel displayed in the bedroom. He bought them on a business trip to China before he met Lena, but wanted her to keep them on her dresser. However, Lena doesn’t like them. I explained to Lena that while Feng Shui principles do suggest keeping things in pairs in the bedroom, if she doesn’t like the ceramic cats, they shouldn’t be kept anywhere in the bedroom. Instead, I recommended that the next time she took a trip with Daniel they should pick out a pair of objects they both like to display on her dresser. Daniel can relocate the ceramic cats to his home office as a reminder of his business travels.
When a couple moves in together and combines their bedroom furniture, art, and decorations, they often end up with more than they need -- and some things they don't like. But as always, it's Feng Shui to the rescue.